Roller Coaster Ride

So this week started off with the tensity of waiting to hear about, well, everything. On Wednesday we were notified that we would be getting paid, Hooray! Then all of the sudden, BAM! We get a smackdown of medical bills from this lame hospital trip I took. How do they always know when you get money? I want to know that. Is there some kind of money alert? "Excuse me sir, it seems that Courtney and Jake just came into some money, maybe we should make up a bill for them." ANYWAY.... the letter comes stating that we owe $935. My jaw dropped. I thought, "WHY in the WORLD do we have insurance if I have to pay for everything?" Long story short, this is how my week was.
Monday: Worried
Tuesday: Anxious, thinking about getting a busier job
Wednesday: Exultant!
Thursday: Anxious
Friday: Relieved (It was really only $100, not 1,000, thankfully)

ON TOP of that, Bentley's mood has gone from smiley to upset to down right cranky. You'd think it was DEFCON 2 at my house or something whenever we try to give him medicine. I swear someone is going to bang down my door, "What are you doing to that child!?" And what's worse is that I can't do anything about it, short of putting it in his bottle--but that is if he NEEDS it when he takes his bottle. He also is then required to finish the WHOLE bottle  which is hard for him because his front, lower gum is in pain. Then he wants to be cuddled and rocked, he does NOT want the swing, he won't lay in his crib for ten minutes. It becomes a never-ending serenade of screaming.

On a happier note, yesterday we went to an Opening Social for Jacob's department. His introduction went something like this:
This is Jacob, he wants to work for Doctor Pitt, he went to UAH, dropped out after a semester and is back to option two. He wants a chemical engineering hat for christmas and he can change a 7 mo old baby's diaper in 8 seconds. There you go.

Clearly this young comedian didn't know our Jacob very well. In fact, one of Jacob's professors told him during the picture that the introduction was not good enough for the kind of man Jacob is, and I agree. It should have gone something more like this:

Jacob Williams grew up in Huntsville Alabama, where he achieved a 4.0 while participating in Football, Wrestling, Band and other extra curricular activities. He served a mission in the Germany-Munich-Austria Mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. He completed his Bachelors Degree in Chemical Engineering and, after taking a sabbatical he has returned with a beautiful family to undertake his PHD, also in Chemical Engineering. Jacob is an assiduous worker, a dedicated student and a loving husband and father. He is the highest caliber of a man that you can find! He can change his son's diaper if he's not kicking his legs or rolling over or screaming, in 8 seconds or less; and he wants nothing more than an all-sports-pass, to see his parents and a container of oreos for christmas, I'm sure a chemical engineering hat would be cool too.

Of Course that last part is a bit of a joke, but feel free to leave anything you want to add below.


Okay, well, that's enough for today, my baby is pumped full of Tylenol and actually smiling. I am going to go play with him. But here is a video that you guys requested. Enjoy!

Best news of all!? I ran ALMOST an entire mile yesterday(I had to walk for some). Be so proud of me. Be so proud.

Oh, you make me smile.

Waiting for Mommy to come home after work.

Look at how CUTE he is. Oh, what a cute little guy; he makes me laugh so hard. Here are 9 reasons for why I love this baby.

1. Bentley's new trick is bouncing on his feet. He sits down, cross-legged and then he gets excited and he starts to bounce almost as if he is going to bounce right onto his feet! He lifts himself off the ground and falls right back down.

2. Bentley is developing his own method of communication.
       a.  Coughing means "I need your attention"
       b. Clapping means "That's what I want"
       c. Crying while eating means "No more bananas, I want water"

3. Bentley will rear up like a horse before landing on his hands and feet and race/crawl toward you


4. He still really dislikes strangers and strange places. I have had to swaddle him really tight and give him a binky just to make him fall asleep. I haven't had to do that for a very long time!

5. The other night I heard bentley screaming, not just crying. It was full chested, sore throat kind of screams. I came upstairs to see what his issue was when I saw him standing up at his railing, just screaming at the door. I was so impressed! You better believe I swaddled that kid.

6. Today I discovered that he has a fear of chainsaws and, surprisingly, a sudden fear of the downstairs shower. He always likes to put his hands on the glass door and he tries to open it from the outside, but I put him in the shower today and he turned red, burst in to tears and started shaking. It was so funny to see him stare at the move-able shower head, reach out to touch a small strand of water and then start shaking and crying again. We discovered it the other day when Jake was showering with him---and we took him right out, thinking it was too hot. This time, however, it was unmistakable.

7. Today, in his pink and purple walker (long story) He stood up with minimal help and took two steps FORWARD! Usually he steps backward. Yay my little Bentley!

8. He loves his Graduate puffs! He thinks it is the neatest thing when mommy shows him how to chomp his gums on them and he gives me the biggest smile.

9. Last night at Grandma Great's house Bentley was having a hard time falling asleep. While he downed a bottle I took a soft blanket and gently rubbed it against his cheek. Bentley reached up and grabbed onto the blanket. When I let go there he was rubbing the blanket on his face by himself. Ha ha! What a cutie!

Sleepy Bentley, rubbing his face on the zebra

: ( my little buddy, you are growing up way too fast! Your mommy loves you so much! So just stop, okay!?

Sometimes I wonder if we bring trials upon ourselves unwittingly. I laugh at myself when, in the midst of a trial, I suddenly realize that the frustrations I have been experiencing appear to be a direct answer to my prayers. I don't think we often appreciate the power of prayer, but like the importunate woman story in the bible who cried at the judge all the time to avenge her, he eventually gave in. Our Father in Heaven loves us and he will not ignore us, if we ask for it and it's really important to us, he just might grant it to us. So, be careful what you pray for.
I do also believe very firmly that as we seek for the Lord's will he can influence us to ask for the things we need and then grant them to us when we finally ask for them; and he will grant us his help to overcome our trials.
While all of this is true, it doesn't make the trials any 'easier' necessarily, there is still a struggle, still a fight that must be won and lessons learned. Sometimes you must grit your teeth and stare into the devil's face and say "I will not give in to you!". Faith and belief in the midst of personal trials can be most difficult, especially when the one you doubt is yourself. In a time when there is so much that a man or woman must 'be' with several attribute lists to check off and to do lists for your temporal/spiritual life it is easy to get overwhelmed. And for some reason, being married gives you MORE reason to think about yourself than others, when I always assumed that when I was married I would have more time to care about others because I wasn't searching for a spouse. Ha ha.
In conclusion, to leave out the mundane personal details, I have discovered that sometimes things don't go the way we had hoped, financially, technologically, socially, or educationally, in order for us to realize that we need to rely on the Lord. On those eternally long days when you can't reach a friend and need a shoulder to rest on, or when you encounter other frustrations, perhaps it is because you need to turn to the Lord, he has a message for you that you are not hearing, or he just wants to make sure you are depending on him for your salvation, that you realize you cannot do it yourself. And I am grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, that I can give him my burden and weep in his arms and be forgiven, and be strengthened and made whole.
That is what the Atonement is all about. The Savior says

 28 ¶^aCome unto me, all ye that ^blabour and are heavy laden, and I will give you ^crest.

 29 Take my ^ayoke upon you, and ^blearn of me; for I am ^cmeek and^dlowly in ^eheart: and ye shall find ^frest unto your souls.

 30 For my yoke is ^aeasy, and my burden is light.  

                                                                - Matthew 11:28-30

 He has suffered all things,

 8 The ^aSon of Man hath ^bdescended below them all. Art thou greater than he?

                                             D&C 122:8

And last of all

 7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the ^apit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the ^bdeep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to ^chedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of ^dhell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee^eexperience, and shall be for thy good.
                                       D&C 122:7


It's difficult to go through this life but if I learned anything from this past week it has been that God will support you, he will not leave you to fall when you come upon affliction. You need not unduly worry about anything. He will guard you and guide you and if you ENDURE---which I think is the most difficult part of all of the plan of salvation--through all of your difficulties and trials and are made pure and holy like unto God He will accept you into His kingdom. I know this to be true because I prayed about it and The Lord answered me. And He will answer your prayers too. Keep praying. No matter what.




And now, for the update in our family life: 

Jake is doing really well in School. It's is quite an adjustment having him gone all day, I can definitely see the appeal in watching TV all day waiting for him to come home. Bentley and I play while he's awake, and then he goes to sleep and I clean or find something to do. My hope is to start running in the mornings and to start eating healthier so my triple digit weight can become a little less large. :D 
Bentley's personality is showing through very prominently these past few weeks. He is a loving child, so happy and so smiley. He wants to be anywhere Mom and Dad are and if we leave him in the living room while we sit at the table or in the kitchen, he will come and play under our feet. Sometimes if he wants to be held he will crawl next to my feet and touch my leg with both hands. It is so cute. 
He screams for my family, any time they hold him he starts crying and screaming and it is the funniest/saddest thing ever. Though, for Donlu and Vanessa he was pretty good. I don't know what it is about the Edwards' family but for Donlu and Vanessa he just gave a sad pout and big, saucer eyes. 
Bentley also has a desire to walk. I honestly think he realizes that walking is faster than crawling.  He is always pushing up to his feet, but he lacks the strength to stand up and he definitely lacks the balance and coordination.
He is a talkative child, he just jabbers, saying 'bla, bla' or 'UH!', very emphatically. He sleeps easily in his crib and his sleep hours are only getting longer. I am preparing for when he teethes, but I am grateful for what I have now.
Today he started drinking from a sippy cup. I didn't want to spill my cup all over him so I gave him a sippy and he's drinking just fine from it. Crazy. I love my little Bentley. I will upload a video later today. I would do it now, but I have a meeting in 49 minutes that I forgot about. :) ha ha

Love you all!