A Week in Rearview

There really is nothing in life more beautiful than a child's smile. It cheers up a rainy day, drives illness away and warms the heart. It makes me even happier to see Bentley playing with his dad. Here's a picture Jake and Bentley took while I was out. We don't really get a whole lot of pictures of all three of us, but we usually get one adult in it.

:) My two handsome blue-eyed men. I am so grateful for them. When I was growing up all I wanted was to have blue eyes...and glasses...and a broken arm...(thankfully I grew out of those last two) but the blue eyes always stuck. People tell me I have pretty brown eyes but I was never content. Well, here is proof that God loves me, because I finally got my blue eyes. And my four eyes (ha ha).

I love the wonderful gush of love that I get when I find out I'm pregnant. Jacob went out and bought me a journal when we found out I was pregnant with our little girl. Nothing could have made me happier. We saw her profile in our last ultrasound. :) She's beautiful, a beautiful, perfect little girl.

This week started off so well. Sunday was great, Monday was long...Tuesday I woke up exhausted because Bentley had been waking up on and off all night long, screaming. Thursday was a doozy. Of all the days in my short-lived life, it was probably the lowest I have ever felt. There is just a deep sadness that comes with the sort of news I received that day. Along with helplessness. 

Pain must come, though, so we can feel joy. Pain must be evident in our lives for the atonement of Jesus Christ to take root in our soul and sanctify our spirits. Through the pain that I felt, there was an overarching feeling of peace. 

I don't know what is in store for my little family. I don't really know how to proceed. All I know is that God is in control, that His Son died for me, for my husband, my son, and even my daughter. He will swallow up death and hell and they will lose their sting. He has descended below all things and he will be my healing balm. 

It's okay to be sad. Sadness is part of God's eternal plan. Sadness and happiness, love, pain, grief, healing, trust, repentance, forgiveness... they are all part of His plan. The question is, are we going to do our part of the plan? Do we remember why we are here? It's all a part of the plan. We just have to have faith. And on those days when we are too weak to stand, we can kneel and God will hear us and with the poultice of love and sacrifice he will make our burdens light.

I love you. I hope that every day we can remember this. I hope your day is going well. If not, it's okay to be sad. 

Walk tall. You're a daughter. A child of God. Be strong. Please remember who you are. Try to understand, you're part of His great plan. He's closer than you know. Reach out. He'll take your hand.