Happiness

Well, it's official, I'm 22. A friend called me to ask if I felt any older and I just had to laugh. No. I don't feel older. I live around people basically all 6 years older than me and older (not counting my son) so, most of the time I feel like I should be closer to thirty. It's always kind of an out of body experience when someone calls me out on my age. I'm like..."wait, really? Only 22? I guess that's right..." I had a wonderful birthday, by the way, thanks for asking.

Today I want to talk about feelings of depression. It's normal to have feelings of sadness and it is absolutely normal to feel down on yourself some days, but it starts to become a problem when you start to wallow in it. Satan comes in and starts whispering about all of your fears, all of your doubts and he magnifies it until you can't see anything else. Then there are those who have chemical imbalances or who have chronic depression and, I will admit I know very little about both of those issues, but I do know this:

Heavenly Father wants us to be happy. He can see beyond the step that we are making and he knows where our pitfalls are and he knows how to guide us around them. Sometimes when I am depressed or having intense feelings of loneliness or sadness or fear and I pray for relief it doesn't come--not right away, anyhow. Sometimes it takes several prayers, each more desperate than the last. As we act on our faith and ask God to apply the atonement in our lives, we ask the Savior to heal us with the balm of his suffering He will do so. When at last I have reached what I think is my lowest, a sweet calm comes over me, filling my heart and my mind. The teasing whispers of Satan die out and I am left with a clear mind and a steady heart. I, myself, find it very difficult to cry at that point, because all I feel is..."soothed" I guess you could say. I believe that God allows us to feel that sadness and the suffering on purpose. It's hard and it cuts us to the heart, even the very spirit sometimes, but if we don't understand suffering, how can we understand joy? How will we understand compassion? Or Mercy?
It's hard some days to be happy. And our Father in Heaven knows that we can't be hunky-dory every minute of every day, but when you feel weak, or you feel sad or lonely and you don't think you can take it anymore, get on your knees and pray. The Lord has promised that He will hear our prayers. Jesus Christ bought us with his blood. He payed for our souls and if we do as he asks and repent of our sins and strive to keep all of his commandments, then our blessings will not be kept from us and we will be given the spirit of comfort to buoy us up in His love.
Have faith. Sometimes happiness really is just a teardrop away--sometimes several, but always coupled with a sincere heartfelt prayer.
The most important thing to remember as you are climbing your mountains and feeling the agony of a wounded spirit is to know that the Savior felt everything that you have felt. He has experienced your joys, your heartaches, your afflictions and your sicknesses. He knows you.
As it says in 1 Nephi Chapter 21 of the Book of Mormon:

14 But, behold, Zion hath said: The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me—but he will show that he hath not.

 15 For can a ^awoman forget her sucking child, that she should not have ^bcompassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may ^cforget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel.

 16 Behold, I have graven thee upon the ^apalms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.

He has graven you upon the palms of his hands. He won't forget you,  the way a mother can't forget her child. He loves you. That is what matters. He will comfort you in your time of need.

Have faith. 

Have faith.

picture above was painted by Greg Olsen and can be found at Deseret book, or online.