The Final Sonogram

Today Jacob and I drove down to the hospital for Brooklyn's ultrasound for the last time. It was a routine visit, we didn't even get to see our regular peri-natologist. Some other doctor came in and looked at our sweet Brooklyn, he told me everything looked normal and to be expected with her diagnosis. I explained that we were inducing in a month and he let me know that this would probably be our last ultrasound. There was an edge of finality about the whole visit. Every month I've been able to look forward to seeing Brooklyn again. Now we have five weeks and then she will be here. All the waiting will be over. 

Everything is the same, it appears. Brooklyn's diagnosis still stands. Her cute little hands are balled and her heart is irregular. Although, according to the ultrasound machine she's measuring 3 weeks smaller now, instead of 2. Dr. Spencer guessed that she would be between 4 and 5 lbs, closer to 4 probably. The biggest consolation to me was that this time she was head down. I can't tell you how much I don't want to deliver her breach. The doctor already told me that he would be comfortable with delivering her breach--because of her diagnosis. This frustrates me because, once again, they act as though she has already died and nothing else can be done to further her life. Argh! I know they're trying to be as accommodating as possible and be as straightforward as they can but sometimes I just want to tell them to keep it to themselves. "Talk to your husband" they say, "tell us what you are most comfortable with" le sigh. Doctors who mean well...

Anyway. I started working on Brooklyn's burial gown. The fabric is lovely. It's satin and white with lace and little pearls along the lace. I've only cut out the pieces but hopefully it will turn out well. If not, I have extra fabric and I'll do it again. The dress is only nine inches tall. 

On that note...

Bentley is a hoot. And he drives me silly sometimes. Today he dropped a glass measuring bowl on his foot. It's an Anchor brand (and those are not small) and then he knocked over the large clock that normally sits on my mantel--and shattered it. He tossed a friend's fridge magnet and busted it into pieces. And the cute little boy just smiles like nothing is wrong. He's adopted new phrases, "Oh no!" and "Knock knock!" and today he stood and looked headlong at me, put his hands to his chest and said, "Mine!" I don't know where he learned that word. I really don't. I try to say "that's mommy's" or "you can't play with daddy's phone" or whatever. I laughed out loud when he said that. He's teething still so he's crankier than normal but every now and again I get to see my cute little happy boy. He loves going outside but always tells me that he wants to go inside--he prefers baths to showers and likes to say "bye bye" after people close my door. He's growing up too fast. Make it stop!

I'm so tired.

Courtney