Such a simple expression. The act of bidding someone a fond farewell, until we meet again. As Bentley and I watched Grandma leave today we were both feeling it, a visceral reaction to the word, "Goodbye". I'm sure Bentley was remembering another time he waved goodbye to a loved one. I get so worried with people coming and going that he might start to think that everyone is temporary. This time I was sure to explain that she would not come back for a long time. Of course, there is skype, but that really isn't a replacement for holding someone in your arms or talking with them face to face. Technology has its perks and it's detriments.
Goodbye, Grandma! Can't wait to see you again.
And then there were two. With hubby off to work today it's Bentley and I. He's having some quiet time. I was hoping he would go to sleep, but it doesn't sound like it.
Perhaps Goodbyes, whether in life or in death are meant to cause such sadness, to inspire us to want to be good, to want to do right by those we love. To do whatever we can to see them again. Saying "Goodbye". It sounds so final. It's not though, is it? If a loved one lives far away, you can see them again some day. If a loved one dies, you will still see them again. It will be much longer and you will have to account for all the time between when you saw them last and when you see them again...but you will see them again. Death is not this scary monster that Hollywood makes it. While tragic, yes, death is peaceful. Death is freedom from pain and suffering, it is liberating to the sick and the lonely and the infirm. We are supposed to live and thrive and do our best, but, with all things that have their season, death is meant to happen to all.
Some live to be old, sharing their wisdom, learning new lessons. Some are young, perfect and sheltered from this cruel world. Someone said the other day that God is a cruel God...I reject this statement wholeheartedly. Would a cruel God give us a body? A body with which to run and to play, to eat and to sleep and to work and relax? Would he give us an experience on earth where we can feel so much sorrow, but at the same time so much joy and love and laughter? Would a cruel God give us endless chances to repent and to say we are sorry? Would a cruel God send His only son to bear excruciating agony, to be nailed to a cross and to die for us? Would a cruel God provide for us? Create life in us? sustain our every breath? Create a world for our benefit and our enjoyment? Would a cruel God comfort us and love us? And hear our prayers?
The God that I have come to know and love is not cruel. My God is merciful. Of course there are bad things in this world. Of course difficult situations arise and loved ones die. But people have their free agency and God has many things to teach us.
There is a song that I have come to love throughout my daughter's life and death. The words go like this:
How could the father tell the world of Love and Tenderness?
He sent his Son, a new born babe, with peace and holiness.
How could the father show the world the pathway we should go?
He sent his Son to walk with men on earth that we may know.
How could the father tell the world of sacrifice, of death?
He sent his Son to die for us, and rise with living breath.
And all he asks is that we keep His commandments. That we live like His Son. How do you explain to a fish what it is like to breathe air? It's not something you can explain. They don't know what lungs are, they don't know what oxygen is...God knew the perfect way to teach us was to show us, to demonstrate to us what His will for us was and then to command us to follow His Son so we can return to him. This year I asked God to teach me many things. In answer God blessed me with a daughter. I've come to learn that Angels are often disguised as daughters.
The Lord was with me every step of the way, like a loving parent, drying my tears, hushing my fears and cradling me in his love. He has provided help to pay for Brooklyn's funeral expenses, he has fed me through the generosity of strangers and friends and he has uplifted me through the power of the Atonement, through the power of His Son, Jesus Christ.
I ask you, is God Cruel?
I guess that is a question you will have to ask yourself. I, for one, know that He is merciful. He is a just and merciful God. Sometimes it is hard to see the forest for the trees. God knows all. His ways are higher than our ways. He knows us. He loves us. He has a plan for us. We just need to trust God. He will reunite us with our families one day. And one day, when His Son comes again every knee shall bow and every tongue will confess that He is our Lord and Redeemer. He is the Son of God and He has redeemed us from our sins.
I hope to obtain those blessings one day. I hope to see Brooklyn again and to take her in my arms and to rejoice with her.
I love my Heavenly Father. I love His Son, Jesus Christ. And I know that His words are true and faithful.
And I know these things to be true because God answers prayers and He has reassured me time and time again.
I leave these thoughts with you in the name of Jesus Christ.
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