Thoughts

I just want to share a few thoughts today.

Having courage does not mean that you aren't scared. I'll admit that the times that I have showed the most courage is when I have been scared out of my mind. The scriptures say that where there is fear there cannot be faith. I have often thought of this as I have gone through the last... 6 months or so. Each time fear and doubt threatened to swallow me up I would look fear in the face and say, "With God, anything is possible" and I would willingly stick my hand into the lion's mouth so-to-speak. I literally just said to myself that while I was so scared to encounter death, to witness the death of my child and to bury her and not know what kind of pain or suffering she would go through that I was going to choose not to be scared because it was in God's hands. Sometimes I was exceedingly faithful and other times my fears threatened to swallow me alive. That is where the power of God comes in. You have to believe that he will help you, that is how you have faith and then as you ask Him to help you He will pour out his blessings to make you strong.

And it's so interesting because I know that God can heal the sick and the lame, He has all power and yet, with my tiny daughter's broken body He chose to take her back home. It's so strange that you hear statistics about children who die at a young age and never imagine that your child will be one of them. Clearly God had another plan for her.

I guess that's all I had to say... I guess I just really want you to know that there are some incredibly scary things in life that will take a tremendous amount of faith to overcome, but you can do it and it is okay sometimes to be unsure of yourself and to be scared. Those are completely human emotions and God understands that we are inferior beings, the important thing is what you do next. How you show faith. You must go to work and pray and ask for the strength that you lack and then continue to be strong as if it all depends on you. God will bless you with an enormous amount of help, He will lift your burdens and make them lighter. He won't always take them away--He didn't remove Brooklyn's condition--but He will abide with you and heal your spirit. There is nothing wrong with feeling fear every now and again, but you will have the choice to trust God and know that He has a plan for you and your family. I know He has a plan for Brooklyn and I know she will be busy keeping my family safe.

I love Jesus Christ. He is my Lord and my Master. He is so merciful. He knows everything that I am going through. I always find comfort and solace when I ask for it through the atonement. I don't know how I could have gotten through this without His comfort and His love. I love Heavenly Father. He is such a kind and wonderful God. He has seen me through the darkest and saddest of times and blessed me with joy unimaginable. And I love and cherish Jacob, my sweet husband. He is such a strength and a comfort to me. He is my best friend. And I love Bentley and Brooklyn. They bring so much happiness to my life.

I encourage you not to wallow on the sad things in your life but to look up, for it is better to look up, and count your blessings. And as you do so you will bring the spirit of the Lord into your house and He will help you see His hand in your life!